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Ending Cranial Sodomosis

2003-08-14

Category: politics

There is a terrible affliction in the world today. It strikes without warning, destroying the lives of men, women, and children the world over. It knows no bounds of social class or ethnicity. It spreads its havoc everywhere. This disease: Cranial Sodomosis.

Cranial Sodomosis (C.S.) has been with humanity since the dawn of time. In those early days, nature put a quick end to the afflicted. Today, with new safeguards and technologies, the survival rate is much higher. But this leads to a new problem. Since the disease is so rarely diagnosed and treated, those with C.S. are likely to carry it to the rest of the population. Just as dangerous, the side effects of the disease often cause harm to those around the infected individual.

So how do you know if you have C.S.?

Chances are, if you have it you will never recognize it. The mental impairment of C.S. will prevent you from ever understanding your condition. Others may recognize the condition. Here are the symptoms to look for:

  1. Inability to think rationally.
  2. Difficulty communicating with others.
  3. Strange contortion of the body.
  4. Sufferer often complains about a bad smell.
  5. A general bumbling around causing damage to everything in the area.
  6. Patient often claims that the government is the solution or cause to all problems.

If you find yourself confronted by a person with C.S., remain calm. Try not to make sense out of anything they say, it will only increase the likelihood of transmission of the disease. Though you can occasionally speak directly to the patient and bring them around to coherence for a while, there is a high incidence of relapse.

Most cures these days involve prying or beating with a large wooden club.

So, what can you do about Cranial Sodomosis?

There is little that can be done directly. We are not, however, without hope. The key is information.

Contact your elected officials and demand that they put an end to Cranial Sodomosis. Only through a concerted national effort can we finally end them terrible condition. Public awareness is of prime importance.

If you or someone you know has ever suffered from Cranial Sodomosis, you know just how devastating it is. With information, we can over come this disease.


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