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Not your candidate

Interview with a Democratic Hopeful


Category: politics

As a service to the community (no, not the court ordered kind) I have decided to interview a Democratic presidential candidate. Unfortunately there are those laws about equal time for all of them so if I interview one I have to interview them all. To save time I have decided to interview a Generic Democratic Presidential Hopeful (referred to in this interview as DH).

Here's how it went:

LB: Thank you for agreeing to this interview, DH, and for having your views expressed on LibertyBob.com.

DH: Not a problem. Like a three-year-old, the more people pay attention to me the better I like it, LibertyBob.

LB: So let's get down to the questions. Can you either quote or at least paraphrase the Tenth Amendment to the Constitution and cite an example of where it affects your policies.

DH: The what amendment?

LB: The Tenth Amendment.

DH: There's a tenth one. I think I only read the first few or something. Wasn't that repealed or something?

LB: No, it wasn't repealed. It's part of the Bill of Rights. It's the one that goes: "The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people."

DH: Are you sure? That doesn't sound like anything I've heard. What's it supposed to mean?

LB: It means that there are certain things the federal government is supposed to do, as outlined in the Constitution, and that if it isn't on that list the federal government isn't allowed to do it.

DH: I think you're making that up. It is our policy to tax productive people to pay for unproductive persons. It doesn't say we can do that anywhere in the Constitution. Obviously your little amendment isn't real or it's a part of the Constitution we can safely ignore.

LB: Did you say that we could ignore parts of the Constitution?

DH: Oh sure, we do it all the time. What is that thing, ninety years old or something? We have to keep up with the time and not let some creepy, old paper tell us what to do. It was written by white men, you know.

LB: All right, let's move on. How will you see to the defense and security of the United States if you are elected?

DH: That's easy. First, I'll pull all of our troops out of foreign countries and then I'll issue a formal apology to the world for our aggression under the Bush administration. After that, I'll go around and make nice with everybody. I'm sure when they see that we're nice they won't want to bother us.

LB: What about irrational terrorist groups that will attack just for the heck of it?

DH: Those groups will be nice when we smile nice and talk to them nice. Do you remember the story about the lion that had a thorn in his paw and the Democrat removed it so the lion was friendly afterward? That's what we'll do with the terrorists. Most of them are just freedom fighters anyway.

LB: I see. So, have you ever studied any economics?

DH: Yea, I took a class or two in college. Fortunately there was the Communist Manifesto to set me strait. Can you believe the crap those economics professors used to teach? There is an entire community out there who follow that crap. Who do they work for? Not the average worker, they work for the businesses and for the government. That right there tells you that all that economics science is wrong. Sure is a good thing the communists are out there to teach us how the economy should really work. Just look at their track record.

LB: Right. So, what's your stance on education?

DH: We need strong education so everybody will understand how oppressed they are, except for white boys. They are only a little oppressed and it's about time too. They need to learn to sympathize with others. With a strong educational system, every child who is not a white boy will grow up knowing that she or he is free to love the environment.

LB: Well, DH, that's all the time I can stand next to you without strangling you so we have to cut this short.

DH: That's aggression. It's caused by you being a white male.

LB: Are you sure that it's not caused by you being a white male and still spouting off all your ethnic hate stuff? Anyway, good luck in your caucuses and primaries. It'll be interesting to see Bush beat you in November, you obvious moron.

Thus ended my interview with DH, an obvious moron.

By the way, I'm LibertyBob and I've approved this message because it makes fun of people I don't like.

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