A redwing blackbird sitting on a fence post.


Not your candidate

Election Ad 2006


Category: politics

Here in the United States, Election Day is next Tuesday. In honor of that special day, I present to you my campaign ad.

My opponent has been saying a lot of bad things about me. His negative campaigning has made this a very unpleasant election season.

I?ve decided not to respond in kind. I won?t be making negative ads. Sure, I could repeat rumors. I could misrepresent facts, but that?s just not the way I do things.

For instance, I overheard someone say my opponent once bit the head off a live kitten back in college. Some have suggested that I make a commercial about it. That?s not my way.

I don?t know if he bit the head off a live kitten. I can?t say with any certainty if he did that sort of thing back then or if he does it now. I?m not going to be the one who gives him the nick name ?Kitten Killer?. I have seen no proof at all that he is still engaging in such behavior.

So, when you go to the polls this Tuesday, think about the real issues and don?t just picture my opponent sticking the innocent, mewing head of a big-eyed kitten in his mouth and then biting down to kill the poor, fluffy creature. No, don?t think of my opponent as a kitten killer.

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