A redwing blackbird sitting on a fence post.


Not your candidate

Why We Need a Draft


Category: politics

Interstate highway 380 runs north and south through Cedar Rapids, taking a slight jog to join the Five in One Bridge to cross the Cedar River. Except for the river crossing, the speed limit is sixty miles per hour (the crossing drops the speed to fifty-five.) Today I saw something notable.

In the sixty-zone, a motorcycle passed me. The bike was some Japanese model, shiny and purple. The rider was a guy about eighteen years old. He straddled the gas tank, instead of the seat, with his crotch against the handlebars. His legs stuck out to the sides, no where near a clutch or foot rest. He wore baggy shorts and sneakers. He also flew passed me like I was barely moving.

Like most of you, I had an initial reaction: swerve suddenly into his lane as he went by. Also like most of you, I flashed my turn signal didn't do it. There were other thoughts in my head as well. For example, I bet if you asked him if he would join the marines he would be appalled, citing that there's a war on and he could get killed.

That's when it hit me again that we really need a draft. When the hippies got control of our education system, they screwed up our kids so much that they are now all brain-dead, mouth-breathing lumps with no real sense of purpose or reason. Nothing would fix that up faster than boot camp and a couple years of doing what they're told.

Of course, traditional drafts are random and not all the kids get out of school stupid. There's a chance that we would be drafting the few exceptions instead of the morons. The only way to make sure we get all the morons is a mandatory two-year service for all (male) teenagers.

You may ask, "LibertyBob, why would you be so sexist as to exclude females from this mandatory service?"

Well, that's simple. I'm a single guy in my thirties. I have no problem with an excess of available young women caused by the sudden absence of all the young morons with whom they would normally be breeding. During the first few years of thinning the herd of young idiots (sent to war to die off properly) I'll be able to shop at my leisure for an appropriate woman who will likely mature into someone reliable, after sampling a few of course. Those males that survive come back from service will probably have matured a bit and are likely to be attracted to the more reliable women and be less likely to breed with every fluff-ball they encounter.

Over a generation, especially as the baby-boomers die off and leave the education system, our society will recover from all the hippy crap that afflicts the Generation Y kids. In a couple of decades we could have students who can do math and engineering but are disinterested in video games. (Trust me; building your own devices is way cooler than playing a computer simulation of cool devices.)

Write to your legislators today. Tell them that we need at least a draft and preferably mandatory service.

Comments (6)