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The CIA and Weaponized Estrogen

2010-04-01

Category: politics

I am so glad the CIA is finally getting back to their old tricks. According to this article at CNN.com, our favorite spies have starting using chemical warfare in the Middle Eastern Theater. Since it is the non-lethal kind, I say hurray!

The chemical in question is estrogen. That's right, the chemical that makes the difference between male and female. The article suggests that the CIA have been dumping large quantities of the stuff in the mountainous areas of Afghanistan and Pakistan, presumably near Taliban strongholds.

Imagine, if you will, all of the terrorists losing their beards, growing breasts, and having slap fights. You have to admit, it's a funny image. Now imagine other vaguely Islamic terrorists groups seeing that and deciding that maybe attacking the Great Satan isn't worth losing all masculinity.

Of course, there is the real human damage. Male children, especially those still in the womb, would be affected to be far more feminine. This will cause chaos in the culture and may create a backlash against the West. Females, already full of natural estrogen, can suffer from the overdose. The same applies to most vertebrate animals in the neighboring ecology. After a couple of decades of reduced breeding, the region would lose quite a bit of animal life.

Still, as chemical weapons go, this one is pretty benign. It doesn't kill or maim. It doesn't disfigure unless you count the breast growth. That won't keep people, i.e. the French, from complaining and wanting someone brought to justice. Most of the complaints will probably be based on the fact that Europe won't be facing massive breast growth.

The article says the report hasn't been confirmed yet, so it may not have actually happened. Given the nature of the chemical, I sure hope it happened. That's a much better weapon than bullets or bombs. If nothing else, it is fun to say Weaponized Estrogen.


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