Red Winged Black Bird on a fence post in a field.

St Patricks Day 2005


Category: philosophies

It is again St Patrick?s Day. For most people, that means only one thing: Waking up sometime tomorrow (or the next day) and urinating a bright green stream. To me it means something else.

Every year the city of Cedar Rapids holds a St. Patrick?s Day parade. It has to be held on St. Patrick?s Day because picking another day would probably conflict with St. Joseph?s Day where everything is colored red and Prune kolaches ensure that everyone is regular (making it a regular festival in these parts). The St Patrick?s Parade goes through a large portion of the downtown area. This is a real pain if you have to enter or exit the area during the parade activities.

I used to have job at a place just inside the parade route. I was a repair guy and I needed to leave our place of business to visit our customers. Naturally, the streets were blocked off just enough to keep me from getting out. I had to show up early to get everything organized for the day and then get out of the parade zone before the barricades went up. If no repairs were scheduled first thing in the morning, I would be blocked in till the entire parade was over. This encouraged customers to call with emergency repair needs just after the barriers were put in place.

Today, I have to go downtown at eleven o?clock and leave at three. The problem is that the place I have to park will be blocked off at one o?clock and stay that way till about three-thirty or four. This is a real pain. I can?t really wait to leave later because I have a mid-term exam in my history class at three-thirty. I?ll have to leave my internship early to avoid the barricades.

On the other hand, I?ll be done with everything and be home long before all the drunks get out on the road. I?ll be comfortably at home by the time everyone is sloshed. I don?t have to worry about anything other than the possibility of some moron hitting my parked car.

It might seem like I?m bitter about the parade and all the drinking. That?s not really accurate. I?m bitter about the fact that I don?t have a hand in the green food coloring industry. I?m not making a single dime on the whole affair. That is the part that makes me bitter. Maybe, someday, I?ll be able to get money from morons, but today that is not the case. I can hope.

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