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Telephone Surveys Reprised


Category: philosophies

One of the purposes for my presence on this planet is the torment of telephone solicitors. I really think of them as evil (you can say misguided if you like). I had a post recently where I suggested government intervention that even the Libertarians would support. Well, another phone survey fellow called recently and I could not help but torture the unfortunate soul. Here's the transcript. (I'll use the initials AH for the name I gave the caller.)

LB: Hello, this is Bob.

AH: Hello, I'm AH from Some Dumb Marketing and I'm calling as part of a telephone survey. Can I ask you a few questions? It'll only take a couple of minutes.

LB: Sure, that'll be fine. Can you give me your customer number?

AH: What?

LB: I'll need your customer number, please.

AH: I'm not a customer. I'm calling as part of a phone survey. I just want to ask you a few questions.

LB: That's fine, but I'll need your customer number before I can help you.

AH: I'm not a customer…

LB: If you would like to give me your contact information I can have a customer service representative contact you to set up a contract.

AH: That's not really necessary. I just want to ask you a couple of questions. It's a phone survey.

LB: I'm sorry, but I can't help you unless you have a customer number. I can have a customer service representative contact within the next couple of days. Once you're set up I'll be able to answer your questions. Would that be all right?

AH: No, I don't want to be a customer. I just want to ask some questions.

LB: In order for me to answer your questions, you'll have to give me a valid customer number. Are you sure you don't want a visit from a customer service representative?

AH: No. Good-bye.

LB: Good-bye.

I know I'm cruel. I know I enjoy it. I also know that you, the reader, enjoys it when I write about being cruel. (This is based on the type of writings that get the most positive comments.) If you're lucky, maybe a telephone survey person will call you in the next day or two so that you can ask them for their customer number.

Comments (8)
You gotta pick the right guy to do the job.
Go out now and vote for LibertyBob.
True freedom comes from reason.