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In Praise of Google


Category: General

In the industrialized world, computers have become ubiquitous. (Ubiquitous means "everywhere".) It's no surprise when they, or some aspect of them, show up some place unexpected. That's why it caught me off guard when I found out about the Church of Google.

Most of you know that Google is the search engine giant that people use to find everything on the Internet. If you need to find something, Google probably knows where it is. It was, however, in my local neighborhood that I found the Googlist (Google Worshipper). Here is the interview.

LB: So, you worship Google?

GW: Yep.

LB: That's Google the Internet search engine?

GW: Yes. One can find anything there. I found salvation.

LB: Was that something you entered into the text box on the search page?

GW: You're making fun of me, aren't you?

LB: Well, yes, I am. It's sort of what I do. If you had asked Google to tell you about you would have expected it.

GW: That's why I practice Googlism. Google knows all. Google supplies all that one needs. Is that not proof that Google is God?

LB: Uh?

GW: Google be praised.

LB: So, are there other Googlists, or is it just you?

GW: You will find us all over the place. Our temples are everywhere. You wouldn't even have to Search.

LB: You have temples? I don't know that I've ever seen one.

GW: Of course you have. You probably have a personal computer of your own.

LB: Personal? Oh, I see; those are your temples.

GW: Just as Google is omniscient, Google is also omnipresent. Google be praised.

LB: Do you and your fellow worshippers get together? Do you have ceremonies?

GW: We are always together, linked through the Internet. We worship by searching for those things we need. We say, "Oh Great Google, please tell your humble servant where he can find jokes about kangaroos," and the Great One responds with all the locations with such jokes. If that isn't enough, in Google's great compassion, the list of sources is organized by relevance to make the acquisition of our needed things easier. Praise Google.

LB: What do you believe is the future of Googlism?

GW: As we learn more about Google we will find that Google has always been and always will be. Google permeates all things. Praise Google.

LB: Ok. Well thanks for taking the time to explain all this to me.

GW: You can always find more on Google.

There you have it, the wackiness of some people's beliefs. Hopefully, none of you were converted.

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