Things People Thought Today

2007-02-13

Category: General

In the Mid-West today we are experiencing a winter storm. These events are not uncommon in winter, so most everyone knows how to handle it. However, there are a few who do not like to play nice on the slick roads. Their actions show their thoughts. I provide those thoughts for you here.

There doesn?t seem to be anyone behind him for a good mile or so. I think I?ll wait till he gets close and then pull out in front of him.
That guy looks like he?s backing his little car out from between two large sport-utility vehicles. Since he probably can?t see well, I should accelerate to ?much faster than parking lot speeds? to get behind him.
It?s cloudy with lots of blowing snow to hamper everyone?s vision. I know how to make it better; I?ll drive my road-colored car with no lights on. For bonus points, I?ll drive really fast.
I have four-wheel-drive. That means I can accelerate right up to the back bumper of this little car in front of me. He?s only got front-wheel-drive. Hey, why don?t my four-wheel-drive breaks work on this icy patch?
I have to pull out in front of the coming vehicles because traffic is just so heavy. They?ve got two lanes going this direction and I only need one. Which one should I take? I know; I?ll take the middle one.
I?m a pedestrian and I would like to cross the street. Rather than cross at a cross-walk, I?ll stand in the middle of the street, refusing to go until all the cars are gone by. They?d go by a lot faster if they didn?t have to swerve around me where I stand in the lane.
It?s fun to do a minor, residential sidewalk repair in blizzard conditions. I hope nobody minds that we?ve narrowed a major thoroughfare down to one lane during the busiest hours of the day. It?s not like we?ve distracted them with warning signs or anything.
Back in my day we was taught to go nice and easy in this bad weather. This is the speed I went then and it?s the speed I?m going today. Of course, back then I was driving a mule cart?

You must keep it in mind that I?m giving a lot of credit to some of these people when I suggest that they were thinking. Overall, Cedar Rapids is a safe place to drive. Our population is roughly that of Iceland?s. That means that the small percentage of morons just seem to have higher numbers. It could be worse, though; we could be Chicago.