Curse Results

2004-02-13

Category: prose

These days people don't take the old curses as seriously as they used to. My gypsies and psychics tell me that there is reason to be concerned because most curses have been updated for the modern world. Watch yourself or you might just find yourself as the victem of one of these.

1. Superfluous sphincter
2. A pox on your monkey
3. Interior nose pimples
4. Ingrown scrotal/labial hairs
5. French accent
6. French hygiene
7. Addiction to gelatin deserts and/or guppies
8. Ear migration
9. Feathery orifice
10. Kerry Hair
11. Plaid
12. Corduroy burns
13. Political office
14. Blind date with wrong gender
15. Blind date with wrong species
16. 'W' Speech Pauses
17. Mistaken for serial killer
18. Mistaken for other species
19. Mistaken for wrong gender
20. Drunken involvement with public property
21. Obsession with Disco
22. Anything with Disco
23. Perpetual loose stool
24. Buttwig
25. Being put on every spammer's mailing list

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